Conviction.

The time where I feel the most in love with Jesus is when I am worshiping him with singing and praise. I love being able to worship my God freely, lifting my hands in his constant praise while singing words that fill his heart with joy.

I know this makes Jesus smile when he can see his children coming together and vulnerably worshiping him and our father. As I continue to have the urge to attend Generate in Corona I can’t help but thank God for all the different ways I am touched by their wisdom and ability to convey exactly what I need to hear.

I’m not sure if anyone feels this way but I am continually convicted by the messages that Pastor Tony delivers. I become complacent where I am at and I think to myself that I know I love God with all my heart and I love to be in his presence and sometimes I feel its enough. However, I have been led to think differently of myself and the progress I am making as a woman of God.

I have heard many of my fellow peers talk about being this lukewarm Christian and I believe that I have felt that more than ever. I recently finished chapter four of Crazy Love by Frances Chan and he conducts the entire chapter on describing the actions of those who fall under this complacency.

Around the seventh or eighth definition of how “lukewarm Christians” act, I began to fill the conviction upon myself. I was nodding my head continuously and thinking to myself “ This is me! ... I fall under so many of these descriptions.” Here is a prime example of one of the ways I falter ...

“Lukewarm People love others but do not seek to love others as much as they love themselves. Their love of others is typically focused on those who love them in return, like family, friends, and other people they know and connect with. There is little love left over for those who cannot love them back, much less for those who intentionally slight them. Their love is highly conditional and very selective, and generally comes with strings attached.”

I was on my lunch break at IHOP while reading this and literally went numb after finishing the words on the page. When I began this journey of trying to live my life for God instead of just knowing him I purposefully surrounded myself with fellow Christians who could influence me in the right ways to learn more about what it takes to truly be a woman of God. I can honestly say that it was the smartest thing I could ever do. I know that in order to turn away from what you know is wrong you need an incredible support system who can help guide you to the right direction but now what?

Is God happy with how I am living out my life as a Christian or do I need to put myself out there more and get out of this complacency? I am tired of feeling the conviction of being a lukewarm person. I want to be able to read this chapter again and instead of my heart hurting, I want it to be able to check off each definition knowing I live my life the way he would want me to.

I am challenging you like I am myself ... Are you feeling complacent and comfortable? Are you feeling like you might fall under these words that define a lukewarm Christian? I am ready to put myself out there ... to be uncomfortable like my friend Aurora states in her blog http://auroramckeehan.blogspot.com/ when she shares about her thoughts on the same matter at hand. Just a thought ...