Abiding.

I’ve been looking at this wall decoration that I have in my room that reads “Faith isn’t believing that God can, it’s knowing that God will” and I kept thinking about if I really believe that. I then turned to yet another sign hanging that reads “All beautiful you are my love, there is no flaw in you,” found in Songs of Solomon and asked myself again if I really believe the signs I have all around my life. 

I’m that girl that insists on surrounding myself with things, signs, pictures, etc. that will help me become a better person, someone I want to be.  I think the first time I read the sign about not just believing but knowing that God will is the first time that I actually pondered the meaning of that simple sign. Ever since I’ve hung it I’m not sure I’ve ever given it more thought. 

I think I have a good idea of the woman I want to be. I know I have these specific talents, gifts, and passions that God has instilled in me and I feel the least I can do is use those for his glory. Although I often get stuck behind the fear that I believe comes straight from Satan himself. When I let the fear override my faith in God I don’t seem to think of that as the devil winning, but it is. 

I’m doing this devotion called Becoming A Woman of Excellence and its focusing on abiding in Christ and what exactly that means. I guess I never really thought to reflect on that word as much as I should. The meaning of abiding is defined as “the continual act of laying aside everything that I might derive from my own wisdom and merit, in order to draw all of this from Christ.” 

There have been so many times over this past year where I’ve felt distant from God. Especially while in grad school I almost found it impossible to create time for God and his word. I constantly felt the stresses of school when I would set aside time for him because of the demands and amount of information I knew I needed to learn. I felt that God would understand but what I needed to understand is that there was no way for me to endure school without him. 

To grow, you MUST set time aside for Him. How else are we expected to abide in Him unless we are willing to give up ourselves, our time, our “priorities”, our life ...?